Cherine Von Wella

Daaaaaaaaaaaarling! Viktor & Rolf look 17! I need that blouse! Why oh why does a jabot make me so excited? My inner Southwestern Lesbian sings out for that V&R blouse. IT's so Dorothy from "The Golden Girls." R.I.P. Bea Arthur!

Celestia Von Wella

well I broke out of white slavery and I’m back. Gaultier was amazing. I just couldn’t take it after that

Cherine

oh so we're putting on our critics' hats officially? Shall we start with the good or the bad?

Celestia

Paris was much more optimistic than Milan so we can start on a positive note

Cherine

v&r was giving me so many real world options. and i loved the spectators I’m all about a spectator. it's just a shame i never wear shoes

Celestia

The shoes are adorable

Cherine

but then again the Ayatollah likes to keep girls like me barefoot

Celestia

but I love the silk kimono - with a jean - for a daytime meeting

Cherine

Louis Vuitton was like valium: boring and way too easy to find.

Celestia

that seems very luxurious to me

Cherine

why do they do Vuitton Homme? i don’t get it. Just throw some fag-bags in a window and the Champs Elysses & call it a day.

Celestia

for Gorbachev

Cherine

does Gorbachev wear Vuitton? she always seemed so butch

Celestia

it think shes like a brand loyalist

Cherine

Vuitton was a waste of time. I guess the editors have to go because LVMH buys so much advertising. But honestly the collection had no merit. it was like Zegna w/ a stick up its ass.

Celestia

and 56 looks? I mean twitter only allows 140 characters - you don’t need 56 looks!

Cherine

only the worst sort of queen wears that shit. I can just see those monster Vuitton bags on some low self esteem bottom w/ questionable highlights and a Zoloft perscription on the beach this summer. Fire Island, no doubt. Like, "oh my bag is expensive, so I’m expensive!"

Celestia

I just hope it makes some money that it can pump into its other brands

Cherine

Even Snooki is too good for Vuitton....she wears Coach, darling! so JPG?

Celestia

She took it there god bless her

Cherine

the fabric looked a little bas de gamme....but i loved the proportions

Celestia

i thought it was really masculine. i love this tailored athletic look that’s so popular. It’s so smart   

Cherine

Lanvin was VERY Donna Karan woman. I felt ready for yoga and a fierce colonic after looking at it. How did Dries make you feel?

Celestia

Dries is very handsome. I love the detail on the waistbands; the detached sleeves.

Cherine

i thought some of the colors were great as well. But for me there's always a certain flea bag quality to Dries. I feel like a Dries sort of man has BO.

Celestia

its nice to see a really fresh palate for fall. Again, with those elastic hems. I live!

Cherine

you really are feeling a sweatpant hem for Fall?

Celestia

done in these different fabrics I think it’s really clever. Some comfort without looking like a slob.

Cherine

I would never spend money on Dries. she feels very 50something, you know? like it skims the body instead of hugging it. Very Spanx friendly for the older gentleman. YSL was sooooooooooo sooooooo bad!

Celestia

I actually enjoyed someone those one piece overalls. And the longer tunic shirts with the drape are quite nice.

Cherine

I can’t!

Celestia

I would feel very pretty in draped tunic but the show is not nearly as strong as many of the paris shows have been. There are some nice things to be said for some of the clothes

Cherine

it was very BLAH. Stefano needs a vacation. She seems sad. DREARY

Celestia

the baggy trousers are not doing it for me though

Cherine

and the casting was really bad. what happened to MEN in a fashion show? I'll give Ricardo that. Miss Tisci gives you a CASTING. Anyway....final thoughts on YSL before we move on? I’m a little done w/ Gray, charcoal, etc.  It's getting a little obvious.

Celestia

as a collection its not horribly strong

Cherine

I think her days might be numbered

Celestia

but there were some clever femme elements i really enjoyed

Cherine

another few dull ones like that and mama Pilati will be gon-zo. NEXT: Givenchy. Givenchy was my #2 so far

Celestia

Presenting a sandal for the fall is just crazy

Cherine

those sandals felt so right! a lycra tight, a skort, a crown of thorns? YES YES YES

Celestia

With the tights it really is a cool look and skorts are amazing.

Cherine

and i love it because the young girls can pull that look together on a budget

Celestia

I’m really excited the that trend persists. Men just need more options and the graphics on the tee shirts are really cool.

Cherine

i also love that Ricardo went more narrow w/ the trousers. i adore a dhoti but i was nice to see a firm male rump in a good pair of pants again.

Celestia

as a slender woman I definitely appreciate the option of a narrow trouser  

Cherine

but I’m talking about on a man

Celestia

i don’t think many men buy Givenchy?

Cherine

it felt more graphic than sad old YSL. I loved the crisp black.

Celestia

The only men that wear Givenchy are the ones in the show. The ones who buy it are ladies.

Cherine

I usually don’t go for Asian but that 1 topless man....w/ the BODY. honey....he was fine. I'd hit that. Adam Kimmel. Do we care? shall we just move on? Kimmel looked like a plus size collection. Is she a fatty?

Celestia

Kimmel is like the Erin Featherston of menswear

Cherine

don’t insult Erin! she can copy your granny’s prom dress like almost no one else!

Celestia

CDG? i don’t understand dad jeans

Cherine

i feel like if Rei does it we have to like it

Celestia

and ridiculous lapels?

Cherine

well the good news w/ Rei is that you can ALWAYS find something to update that wardrobe

Celestia

the button down pajama  tops with a hood look so precious and the vests are really clever

Cherine

curdoroy lesbian boiler suit at CDG? Bien sur! Galliano? i feel like a VERY specific lady wears Galliano

Celestia

there were some things I liked

Cherine

i appreciated the creativity

Celestia

I’d be into a corset coming up from under my trousers. But then you get into all those ghastly prints….

Cherine

take as many “candies” as her and see what kind of prints you do

Celestia

I'd like to

Cherine

I have to be careful with “candies”...bootleg hormones and "candies" are a messy mix. But let's really get into the MEAT on the bone:

RICK MOTHERFUCKING OWENS

Celestia

FUCK ME RICK OWENS !

Cherine

I’m sure he would he goes both ways for you

Celestia

I'd like to explore that option. I wonder gym he goes to in LA?

Cherine

he's in Paris all the time now, isn't he?

Celestia

I'll just go to his gym and bend over in my mesh shorts

Cherine

the tailoring, the SHOULDERS! I love the longer jacket with the narrow shoulder proportion, sharp as Madonna's cheek implants.

Celestia

and the jackets are looong like the necks of those lovely boys

Cherine

Stefano must have been ashamed after he saw a muddy color palette done RIGHT. I wanna start a fan club called “chicks with dicks who love Rick”

Celestia

OMG will he fuck me? Maybe I need to go Ginger before we are introduced?

Cherine

what did you think about Rick's footwear? a python wedge boot for daytime?

Celestia

with a glamorous fox fur trim à la Rick

Cherine

i also love that he served a gold halter top. Rick is so LA. All the fashion kids think he's so gloom and doom but he's really LA tranny. crocodile zip jackets? Hello?

Celestia

the leather wrap coat with fur trim from look 23 I can do

Cherine

oh I was all about the suits and the weird pants and those divvvvvvvvvvine shoulders. I know everyone gags for Rick’s skins....the furs, etc....but i really just like the day wear. it's simple but so well done. weird but totally RIGHT

Celestia

The scarves toward the end are amazing as well

Cherine

The whole thing was really delicious. Like a great meal: perfect from the appetizer to the dessert.

Celestia

Rick’s just everything!

Cherine

Rick made me wanna spend my sex change money on new clothes, so it must be good.

Cherine Von Wella:

Good morning Celestia...or should I say "good mourning"? Because I am in mourning for men’s fashion after Milan. So god damned boring those shows…

Celestia Von Wella:

I’m looking at Milan men’s. A mess!

Celestia:

Let’s start with Prada - that was a horrible disappointment

Cherine:

Personally I can't stand a sweater that's tight around the waist and rides up. Constantly pulling it down....which makes me insane. I know when you watch these shows you're not supposed to be thinking about things like that, but I see a shrunken cardigan and all I think about are unintended tummy top moments.

Celestia:

Very few men are ready for a tummy top. Especially the men shopping in the Prada store Downtown. The patterns were foul. I hate that retro vibe. Prada is always a step forward and this was a step back.

Cherine:

I didn’t mind the prints so much. it was nice to see some color amongst all the dour clothes the other designers did. but the shrunken knits....and the un-tucked shirts. NO NO NO!

Celestia:

That’s fair but I prefer the color use at Versace or Moncler

Cherine:

Versace was soooooooooo Ibiza man whore. Very high class drug dealer at Pacha. You know?

Celestia:

Italo-Leather Disco Daddy! I'd let him hit it.

Cherine:

You wouldn't let the Prada boy hit it?

Celestia:

Never!

Cherine:

What’s the point of buying clothes if they don’t make people want to rip them off you?

Celestia:

Exactly - those Prada boys would be better off nude!

Cherine:

I’ll give Donatella credit for just doing gay/Guido. She’s not trying to pretend her customer is some sort of bookworm librarian type à la Miuccia.

Celestia:

I always go into Versace to poke fun and end up buying some S&M look I love.

Cherine:

Some of the jackets were really well cut. And the colors! I loved that shade of blue in look 17.

Celestia:

I live for the top in look 20. Electric blue for a winter party look - I’m down

Cherine:

Anyway...enough Versace....we both know they'll probably be bankrupt before I can post this online. Let's talk McQueen: wigs, honey....WIGS and paisley!

Celestia:

I hate paisley but I'd wear everything. Those one button jackets on my long slender body – yes! A fur shoulder puff? Absolutely

Cherine:

McQueen’s tailoring is fab, as usual.....but I just can't do weirdo dip dye prints and paisley

Celestia:

What about a McQueen stirrup pant?

Cherine:

Not unless I'm pregnant and living in Connecticut. Next subject: Dolce. Thoughts?

Celestia:

Looks cozy, but I wouldn’t pay for any of it - but I would steal it from a boyfriend.

Cherine:

Can you imagine the casting couch for Dolce shows? Anyway, the vibe was sort of Michael Corleone when he goes to hide in Sicily.

Celestia:

I’d hide with him. But he better leave the Dolce suits at home. GROSS

Cherine:

That show as all about a long john for day but those velvet touches....revolting. Only Lestat should wear velvet.

Celestia:

It’s the velvet with those massive lapels and sad looking trousers - a mess. Like several generations of prom hand-me-downs in one look.

Cherine:

But I must say I can see a lot of "Jersey Shore" types loving it. It was sexy in a straight forward sort of way, something straight men could understand, which is more than I can say for Prada. I can't imagine anyone wearing Fall 2010 Prada actually getting laid.

Celestia:

I can imagine the cast of Glee looking cute in the Prada looks

Cherine:

The only one from Glee worth sleeping with is Sue Sylvester and she does not wear puzzle print!

Celestia:

On to Raf and his collection for Jil. DIVINE. My career woman look!

Cherine:

Look 28! That gray jacket: a total staple. Which makes Gucci even more repulsive when you think about it. I know it sells but that Frida woman is a glorified Zara designer. With very questionable taste level. and A leopard blazer? Really? I miss Tom Ford.

Celestia:

Oh I have nothing to do with Gucci.

Cherine:

Shall we move on to Vivi?

Celestia:

Godspeed Vivi!

Cherine:

It was so much fun. I don’t understand why she's not more popular in America. Deconstruct those looks and there's SO MUCH to wear!

Celestia:

Like WTF? Not one of these asshole retailers in NYC can be asked to carry her line. We have to pick from the reject pile at century 21?! RUDE!